Really Random Ramblings

Blindsided

2005-12-04T00:54:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know. I suck at blogging and I don't post enough and blah, blah, blah.

But listen up people - I have news.

Guess whose favorite blogger was proposed to this evening (with a ring and everything)!? Yeah, that would be me. To say that I'm shocked would be an understatement.
More on this situation as it develops...

P.S. I said yes :)

Let's talk about sex, baby

2005-11-10T22:58:00.000-05:00

Wondering what to do this Friday night? Well wonder no more my friends, today is your lucky day. It just so happens that Sue Johanson, of Oxygen's Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, is going to be giving a lecture at Carnegie Music Hall in honor of (drum roll please) Planned Parenthood of Western Pennsylvania's 75th Anniversary!

So come on out and support a worthy cause while picking up some sex tips from a woman old enough to be your grandmother! It will be good times. I guarantee it.

Some progress for progressives (at last) Edited

2005-11-09T18:34:00.000-05:00

In national news, Democrats in US rack up victories
&
Pennsylvania voters oust school board
Way to make with the sense PA! But this is no time from us to rest on our laurels, you know. Our vile, smug, asshat of a senator is up for re-election next year.

*Edited to note: Uh oh, here comes Pat Robertson with yet another (Christian evangelical version of a) fatwa. Pat, didn't your mama ever tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up?
Yes, I believe that's how the saying goes...

Thanks to Jon for the link.

Cuz you can't say penis!

2005-11-09T00:01:00.000-05:00

The brilliant F.C.C. Song from the most recent episode of Family Guy.
You're welcome.

The sanctity of marriage

2005-11-08T23:56:00.000-05:00

Kenny Chesney told Life magazine that breaking up with Renee Zellweger was "like opening the door to your house and having someone come in and take your big-screen TV off the wall during the big game, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Oh my god, you guys, that's soooooo sweet! I can't believe it didn't work out.

The Littlest Lush

2005-11-08T23:23:00.000-05:00

Little Lush
Originally uploaded by MC_Coco.

Kids grow up so fast these days...

FYI - The one in the middle is related to me.

Give me drugs!

2005-11-07T23:33:00.000-05:00

This link arrived in my inbox today (thanks Tracy) which reminded me of this video clip* shown by the professor in my psychopharmacology class. Good stuff.

*Scroll down to the bottom and click on, "Drugs I Need"

Why I do what I do

2005-11-05T22:40:00.000-05:00

WARNING: the post that you are about to read is very personal and was borne out of both a lack of sleep and a sudden rush of emotion. It's just me, rambling on, trying to make sense of it all. My apologies for any Hallmark-y-ness. It's just something that I felt I needed to write and (in a fit of sleep deprivation) thought might work here. You've been warned.
*************************************************************

So, it's been a while (again) and part of that has to do with the fact that I've been a bit out of sorts lately. The weather is changing, I've taken on some new work and, subsequently, my sleep schedule has been turned on its head. Excuses, excuses. Anyway...

I'm pleased to say that it finally looks as if my professional life is beginning (just beginning) to take shape and I'm cautiously optimistic about the fact that it seems to be moving in the direction that I had envisioned. I'm currently (happily) working with women, children and families. The work that I do ranges from the absolutely mundane to the highly controversial. Most of you that are reading already know this but for anyone that's new here: I am a childcare provider, a social worker in an acute care pediatric setting and a counselor at an abortion clinic. I care deeply about all of the work that I do and I feel privileged to work with all of my clients.

I am often a bit hesitant to tell people that I don't know well about all of my jobs. It's not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed (actually quite the opposite) but certain aspects of my work can illicit strong feelings in people. Add to that the fact that I have some strong feelings of my own, as well as an almost compulsive need to educate and open up a dialogue. I'm not the type to just casually mention that I do some of my work in an abortion clinic and then let it drop. Remember, I'm a Social Worker. One of the most frequently asked questions in my profession is, And how do you feel about that? It's always been in my nature to explore and dig deeper all while doing my best to hold tight to my own sense of empathy.

Often, when I tell people about the work that I do I'm asked if I ever feel that my jobs are in conflict with one another or with my own values. The answer is, never. Not even for a minute. I have never been the type to last long in a job that I didn't believe in (which is probably why I made it in retail for less than two weeks). Part of what keeps me going in all of the (by turns, sad, joyful, uncomfortable, trusting, messy) work that I do is the fact that, at the heart of it, I believe that every person is capable of making decisions for themselves. What I am working towards is doing my best to help all of the people that I come into contact with to find the inner resources (the "strength," if you will) to feel capable of taking control of their lives. A lot of this centers around education. I am a huge proponent of people being aware of, and thinking through all their options. This concept is one that extends to all areas of my working life and is in no way strictly limited to pregnancy decisions.

So, when it comes down to it, what exactly am I getting at? What I really want to see in this world is people being supported.

I want families of critically ill children to feel a little less alone. I want them to know the type and scope of help that is available and I want to empower them to reach out for assistance when it all becomes too much.

I want the parents of the kids that I watch to know that I think that they're doing a good job. That their kids are funny and smart and kind and that I'm doing my damnedest to keep them safe and happy (even on those occasions that they are driving me up the wall :)

I want children that are in abusive and neglectful situations to be kept safe. I want every effort made to heal their chaotic home life.

I want women to know that they have choices when it comes to an unplanned pregnancy and that no choice is inherently better or worse than another. I want them to know that it's not about what their mom or boyfriend or co-worker thinks. It's about what they think is right. It's about what they can live with. Then, once a decision has been reached (whatever that may be), I want them connected to the resources that will offer unconditional, non-jugemental support and assistance.

Bottom line? I want the people that I work with to know that they don't have to go through shit alone.

I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to single-handedly save the world. There are days when I wake up and I am cranky and cynical and exhausted. I don't always know the right thing to say and I've had many moments where I have felt colossally inadequate. When it comes down to it, all I'm doing is getting up every day and doing what I feel is right. All I can do is to keep on trying.

Nesting

2005-10-25T23:31:00.000-04:00

I think I must have been a bear in a past life. Once it gets cold (and damp and dark and rainy and miserable) all a want to do is hibernate.

So far this week, major accomplishments have included:
-Breaking in my Le Crueset French Oven by making a ginormous pot of beef stew
-Watching way too much TV while snuggled under a down comforter
-Making baked apples (served with vanilla ice cream, of course)
-Finally breaking down and turning on the heat after spending the better part of the evening in sweats, wool socks, under the aforementioned down comforter with a ceramic space heater about two feet from my face

Wake me up in March...

Finally, some answers!

2005-10-25T22:27:00.000-04:00

Where do German babies come from?

Because sometimes you just need to laugh...

2005-10-19T23:19:00.000-04:00

Vid clips that I am lovin' the crap out of right now:
(Hint: Short on time? Just skip to the last one. It's so funny I cried)

Introducing, the iPod Flea

Random kosher fun (It is Sukkot, after all)

Shining (Yes, I know that this has been absolutely everywhere lately but it's SO good)

The Hogwarts Dance Team (This is just inexplicably weird)

And now, because I do believe in saving the best for last, The Shittiest Mixtape Ever

16 kids and whaddaya get?

2005-10-19T21:56:00.000-04:00

Perhaps you should direct that question to Jim Bob (yes, Jim Bob) and Michelle Duggar of Arkansas who apparently think that it's a swell idea to keep having baby after baby after baby until "God" sees fit to stop "blessing" them.

Now, I've been aware of the Duggar's existence for the past few months (see Mac, E-Lo and a few friends of mine who've emailed me articles) but nothing could have prepared me for the horror of actually viewing the Discovery Health Channel special "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" (made before baby #16 came tumbling out of Mom's hooha). Scary, scary stuff.

The kids are home-schooled (of course), the girls all wear what I can only describe as pilgrim dresses, the children appear to be completely insulated from the outside world, and their favorite meal is something known as Tater Tot Casserole.

Ironically enough, while I was watching the show the alarm went off on my cell phone. It's that very alarm that serves as a little reminder to take my birth control pill if I haven't already. I walked over to where my bag was, eyes still glued to the train wreck on TV, took out my pills and seriously contemplated downing the entire pack.

P.S. BONUS! This is where the Duggar girls get their bathing suits.
Sassy...

Hello... Anybody home?

2005-10-17T13:40:00.000-04:00

Greetings Dear Readers (all 5 of you),

My sincere apologies for temporarily abandoning you. I understand that a few of you (who shall remain nameless) were quite peeved about my absence and took to complaining on someone elseÂs website (for shame!). All is forgiven on this end :) and here's hoping that you all will continue to drop by now that things have calmed down and I've decided to stop sucking so much.

I think it's probably best for me to ease back into blogging by getting back to what brought us together in the first place. Ladies and Germs, some Random-ness...

1. I just had some vegan hemp waffles for breakfast. Why on earth do I have vegan hemp waffles, you ask? Dr. Strangelove saw them in Whole Foods last week and thought they looked like a good idea. Not so much. And, no, unfortunately they do not make you high. They're completely useless on many levels.
Aside - Vegans weird me out. You don't eat meat? Fine. Not into fish? Cool. Don't eat cheese? Well then you'd better be lactose intolerant or I do believe that you are in a cult.

2. I started my new job this we weekend. I didn't get home until 4am (even though my shift was supposed to end at 3). So far I like it. Off-shift work in and of itself is pretty interesting. There's a whole different vibe among co-workers in the middle of the night.
When I finally got home the doctor was waiting up for me. I was starving so he made me an egg and cheese on an english muffin. Gawd, I love that man of mine.

3. Pug Update: We have confirmation from our breeder that we are first in line for the litter that is due in late January/early February. I know that's a bit far off but that is not preventing me from constantly obsessing over the fact that I am finally (finally!) going to be getting my Pug for real. Hopefully, spending some time with the ridiculously adorable Miss. Sadie (a.k.a. my puppy fix) will help make the wait a little easier.

Well, I guess thatÂs all for the moment. I have some fabu links for your viewing pleasure that I will be posting shortly.

XOXO,

WhatsHerFace

Celebrity Spawn: Breaking News

2005-10-06T01:51:00.000-04:00

Nooooooooooooo!
Oh dear god. Say it ain't so...

The best commercial ever

2005-10-03T23:54:00.000-04:00

Never have I been so proud to be a member of the Planned Parenthood family. If only they would air this commercial in the U.S.
"Go Penis! Go Penis!"

Super Suck-Ass Blogger

2005-10-03T23:44:00.000-04:00

That's me.
Sorry y'all, but training for this new job while still tending to the 2 old ones is taking its toll. Things should calm down in about a week or so. I'll elaborate on the new happenings in the next few days. Please bear with me.

Hit me with your best shot

2005-09-25T23:15:00.000-04:00

After reading Richard's post on Googlefight, I was inspired to instigate a little smackdown of my own.
Quite pleased with the results, natch.

Extra Credit: Reader Participation!
What's your idea of a good Googlefight? Start one and post the link in the comments. The person with the best fight wins a prize*~%#!

*Please note that I did not say a terrific prize, but a prize
~Offer not valid in Guam, Finland or Kentucky
%Must be at least 21 months of age at time of entry
#No virgins, please**

**If you plan to lose your virginity soley to gain entrance to this contest, please use a condom.

Like Xanax for your ears

2005-09-21T00:33:00.000-04:00

Work is hard.
Let the sounds soothe you.

There were errors

2005-09-20T22:19:00.000-04:00

That's the message I keep getting when I try to post something new. Stupid, stupid, stupid Blogger!

This modern life

2005-09-20T22:02:00.001-04:00

Oh, what a world we live in when one finds out important information about one friend by reading the blog of another.

L-O-S-E-R

2005-09-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

Had way too much fun with this today.

Glen Quagmire says, "Giggity giggity...Awww right..."

2005-09-15T01:03:00.000-04:00

Too lazy to Race for the Cure, but still want to do something?
I'm totally doing this.
Who's with me?

Get born

2005-09-14T15:21:00.000-04:00

I guess this means its prenatal blogging career has come to an end...

Edited to note: It's a boy.

Don't you know that you're toxic?

2005-09-13T23:34:00.000-04:00

File this one under: In case you give a shit.
The Federletus is blogging.
P.S. Momma is on the cover of Elle this month and, if I may say so, she looks like ass. You can also access the interview by clicking the previous link (click text scans 2x to read). Hi-freakin-larious.

Apropos of nothing

2005-09-11T22:46:00.000-04:00

Where the hell is my leopard?

Tell me what you really think

2005-09-08T22:13:00.000-04:00

Live on MSNBC, a man voices his displeasure directly to Dick Cheney. My sentiments exactly...

Technical Details: Clip available in Windows Media or Quick Time. The 'money shot' occurs about 30 seconds in.

Pop Culture Moment

2005-09-07T01:36:00.000-04:00

This is one of the single most ridiculous things that I've ever seen in my life...
R. Kelly has a psychotic episode at the VMA's. And the crowd loves it!

My day (for those of you who give a flip)

2005-09-06T23:58:00.000-04:00

-Woke up at 11 (shut up! you're just jealous...)

-Popped into the beautifully renovated CLP for some new books

-Met The Cakes'es (yes, that is how you spell it) for lunch

-Went to the Post Office and discovered that the civil servants staffing the Oakland location are quite keen on The Beastie Boys, as they were playing Licensed to Ill during the lunch rush. We got wenches on the benches - and bitties with titties/Housing all girlies from city to city, indeed...

-Got poked and prodded during my employee physical for my new, very (very) part-time job. Where would that be, you ask? Well, I won't say directly, but I was given a TB test, a urine drug screen and I had some blood drawn to check for several other infectious diseases (during which the nurse blew out my vein - it still hurts). Take a wild guess where I'm working...

-Went to the gym all by myself! Now that Schna is back in school and crazybusy, I am s-l-o-w-l-y learning the art of self-discipline.

-Came home to a yummy dinner prepared by Dr. Strangelove (teriyaki shrimp and broccoli over short-grain brown rice)... all those years of training are finally starting to pay off ;)

-Watched Real Time with Bill Maher (click here for this week's New Rules). Oh, how I *heart* On Demand

-Made amazing double chocolate muffins from a heavily tweaked recipe (the only kind I know how to use, apparently) Be nice to me and I'll share...

-Read The Onion's take on Hurricane Katrina
It's startlingly accurate.

-Got you to read all the way to the end of this post - Congratulations! You get a muffin! Unless you live outside of Pgh., in which case you only get the satisfaction that comes with knowing that you finished something you started. Doesn't that feel good?!
Not as good as one of my muffins, I bet.
You sure are missing out...
:)

Light & Dark

2005-09-06T23:28:00.000-04:00

First:
I'm following Schna's lead and pointing you all to the absolute best thing (scroll up) that I've read so far regarding the horrible Hurricane Katrina disaster. Well done, Dr. Parent.

Second:
I challenge anyone to remain shocked at FEMA's incompetence after hearing this. Any federal agency that has both the time and the inclination to create something this high on the retard-o-meter deserves whatever it gets...
*When you get to the site hit the audio icon on the right side of the frame to hear the FEMA for Kidz Rap in all its glory*

FYI

2005-09-04T18:02:00.000-04:00

Post Secret has a book coming out in December.

...every little bit helps

2005-09-02T23:31:00.000-04:00

FYI - I have no money right now. I'm broke as a freakin joke. I literally just got back from babysitting. That's right folks - I have a graduate degree and I'm still babysitting in order to stay afloat.
I've really wanted to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort but when I think of making a donation to a large organization for some strange reason I think that that means a minimum of $25. I think that I have that number stuck in my head because that's generally the "requested donation" when I get solicitations through the mail. Anyhow, I just learned that the minimum donation that they can accept through the Red Cross website is $5. Even my broke ass can manage that (and then some).
So, go! Check between your couch cushions, on the floor of your car and in your laundry room. I'm sure that you'll be able to pull together at least $5 in change. Once you've managed that then you can click below. It may not seem like much, but as they say...

Domestic Goddess

2005-09-02T10:33:00.000-04:00

Last night I made a big Summer-y dinner and realized that it was probably going to be one of the last of the year, as it's already September (I'm a big fan of cooking seasonally).
We had Chicken Breasts with Cornmeal-Coriander Crust topped with Black Bean-Mango Salsa (modified as per comments on Epicurious and my own invention);
Accompanied by Chilled Short-Grain Brown Rice Salad with a Simple Lemon Dressing over Romaine (based on a dish my mom has made in the past).
It was sooo good. And we have leftovers for tonight (this is one of those meals that actually tastes better the next day because the flavors have had a chance to marry). The only thing that sucks is that I now have two nasty little welts on my right arm courtesy of scalding hot canola oil.
Captain Obvious says: Hot cooking oil and skin don't mix, kids! Be sure to pay attention when you're frying things!
Ouch! If you need me I'll be compulsively applying ointment.
Heh heh... I said ointment.

Dear Bills,

2005-08-31T17:59:00.000-04:00

I cannot pay you, so I would appreciate it if you would please stop coming. It's not that I don't want to give you money (well, it sort of is) but that I don't have any money to give you at the present time. So please, just go away. I'll be in touch when I find myself in a more financially stable position. Really. So if you could just fuck off for the time being that would be super.
Sincerely,
WhatsHerFace

Deeez Nuuuts

2005-08-29T22:02:00.000-04:00

About two weeks ago we went over to the Schna's to have dinner and watch a bootleg of the new Family Guy movie (hilarious, btw). She made dinner and I brought over a salad which included some candied walnuts that I'd made. The next evening I received a voicemail from her that was so priceless I transcribed it.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm so thankful for your nuts
Because it's quarter to eight and we haven't had a chance to make dinner yet
Because, you know, things have been coming up
And I'm about to fall over except for the sustenance of your sweet candied nuts
And I love them
And if I were religious I would thank God for your nuts
So that's all I have to say
And Im gonna go back to eating your nuts now
Yeah...
Talk to you later

You heard it here folks. My nuts are spectacular ;)

Do you like Cumming?

2005-08-26T23:11:00.000-04:00

Alan Cumming, that is.
Then you should see the commercial for his new fragrance. Apparently Cumming smells like whiskey, cigar, rubber and leather, among other things.
And
Did you know that Amazon.com now sells these in their Health and Personal Care section?
I don't know what's more disturbing - the fact that the color is called "Mulato" or that the company that makes it is called "Too Sticky."
The internet is a smutty, smutty place... what ever would we do without it?

Thou shalt not kill

2005-08-23T19:13:00.000-04:00

Pat Robertson is such an asshole.
I know that we all knew that already but why must he continue to reinforce this fact?

Looking Ahead: The joys of dog ownership

2005-08-22T21:51:00.000-04:00

This is what I have to look forward to?!

Another one bites the dust

2005-08-21T23:50:00.000-04:00

Six Feet Under ended tonight. I cried. A lot. Over a TV show. Oy...
We're referring to our next order of business as filling the void. Anyone have any suggestions for a new show that I can be slavishly devoted to for several years?

"Presh-Presh"

2005-08-17T13:02:00.000-04:00

Pug Pups
Originally uploaded by MC_Coco.

Here's a picture of one of our breeder's litters (circa summer '04). I can't look at it for too long or my heart starts melting...

Sex, sex, sex!

2005-08-16T23:05:00.000-04:00

1. In keeping with my mission to bring you the latest in toy porn (remember the Lego post from my first week?) I give you:
Pornstar Bears

2. Do you think your child might be gay?! Focus on the Fucknuts - err, I mean Family - can help!

3."I found that if you made men more insecure about their masculinity, they displayed more homophobic attitudes, tended to support the Iraq war more and would be more willing to purchase an SUV" You don't say?

Disclaimer: Most of these links have been shamelessly plundered from Nerve's Scanner blog. What?! You don't read Nerve? Sounds like somebody needs a spanking...

Incongruous

2005-08-16T22:49:00.000-04:00

Today, when I was driving home from the gym, a woman in a tan Lexus SUV talking on a cell phone pulled out in front of me. Shocker - she had a Bush sticker on the back of her gas-guzzler. However on second glance I noticed that the sticker read "Bush Orwell 1984." She also had another sticker that said "I (heart) Backgammon."

In other news...

2005-08-15T00:21:00.000-04:00

Some fucking-fuckhead-motherfucker spammed my comments yesterday. It's been deleted. Something about the stock market and the lumber industry. ASSHOLE.
Has this happened to any of you other bloggers?
P.S. How funny is it that I went through the trouble of installing SpamPoison (the button's in the right side bar) specifically to prevent this sort of thing.

Looney Bin

2005-08-15T00:17:00.000-04:00

I am officially puppy crazy. People are beginning to get concerned.

Doin' a happy dance!

2005-08-10T23:29:00.000-04:00

Finally, some good news. We're getting a Pug! We got the go-ahead from our landlord yesterday and I made contact with the breeder today. They're expecting a litter in September. Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

A dream (job) deferred

2005-08-10T00:41:00.000-04:00

Right before I left for West Virginia I received an email from the program director at my ideal agency. It went something like this:
I remember you. I liked you're resume. I'm planning on interviewing you. A former employee who held this position in the past wants to come back and we're probably going to hire her (update: they did). I'd still like to meet with you because I like to have good resumes on hand for when something opens up.

Let me just state the obvious here by saying that this sucks. When I got this email I actually cried. Okay, sobbed.
I need a job now. That job is perfect. The whole thing seemed - dare I say it? - fated. Why me? Bitch. Moan. Repeat.
Now that some time has gone by and I've put things in perspective I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. I say this for two reasons.
1. The program director still wants to meet with me.
2. This agency will be undergoing some major expansion in the next year and will potentially be hiring 50 new employees.
When I first decided to contact this agency the position that I wanted was not open. I wrote that letter with the expectation that I would (hopefully) be able to schedule a meeting and get myself on the top of the list for when something opened up during the expansion. So, basically, this is what I had been hoping for for in the first place.
Don't get me wrong, I really (really, really, really) wish it could have happened now. My bank account is dwindling. I hate looking for work. My student loan grace period is half over. But most of all, I want to shop. I want new clothes. Shoes. Make-up. Super lame, I know, but it's true. I am a consumer-whore at heart and the worst part of having no money is having to think and re-think every little purchase you make. Do I really need that? Do I have enough money for the necessities (rent/groceries/utilities)? And I have been good. My credit cards are not maxed out and I'm actually learning what things I am able to live without. I've never been so good with restraint so I'm trying to use this time to learn some.
On a higher level though, I'm starting to get bored. I got my MSW because I really enjoy being a social worker. And I get to be in my part-time job but it just isn't enough anymore. I need a reason to get up in the morning. I want to feel like I'm contributing to the greater good on a consistent basis. I need to start my career. So, tomorrow I will begin my search in earnest. Now that I know that the dream job is a possibility in the future I can start letting go of finding the perfect job, and instead start seeking out the good enough job. My only prerequisites will be that it has to allow me to pay my bills (with a few cute pairs of shoes thrown in for good measure) and it has to provide some solid experience in my chosen field. If I can get those things I'll be okay. After all, I won't be there forever. You never know what's going to pop up.

Mascot

2005-08-07T19:16:00.000-04:00

Juliet
Originally uploaded by MC_Coco.

Some of you may know that the boy and I are hoping to become parents to a Pug puppy in the next few months. Until that time I think that what this website really needs is an interim mascot.
Internet, I give you Juliet, the most beautiful (and tastefully accessorized) Bulldog you ever did see!

What is wrong with people?!

2005-08-07T13:26:00.000-04:00

A beautiful iris garden in my former (and favorite) town in Jersey has been vandalized. You must be hung like a 4 month-old to feel the need to go around beating up flowers.
Assholes...

Mom's still here, so...

2005-08-06T20:37:00.000-04:00

A link to tide you over:

Mrs. Kennedy on becoming a woman

Updates are a'coming...

2005-08-03T22:45:00.000-04:00

Mom's here for a few days, so posting will most likely be light this week whilst I run around Pittsburgh participating in various MFA's (mother-friendly activities).
FYI: A Dream Job '05 update is forthcoming. I do have some new news on that front. I will humbly request that all fingers remain in the crossed position for the time being.
Thank you.

P.S. You've probably seen/heard/read this before, but it's still funny.
NOT work safe. Unless you're trying to get fired, in which case, turn the volume all the way up.

Get your hate on

2005-08-02T16:41:00.000-04:00

I don't think you're a healthy thing for our country, Asshat.

Man Eater

2005-08-01T21:51:00.000-04:00

ManEater
Originally uploaded by MC_Coco.

I know, I know, it doesn't look all that impressive now. But do me a quick favor, will ya? Click on the photo so that you're looking at it in Flickr. Then add about an inch to the thing both length- and cross-wise. SO FUCKING GROSS!
**shudder**

Back in da 'burgh

2005-08-01T19:43:00.000-04:00

MadCow
Originally uploaded by MC_Coco.

I'm back. Did you miss me? Did Clowns for Christ take good care of you while I was gone?
**********
I had a lovely weekend in the hills of West Virginia. Not only was it fun, it was educational. How so? Well, dear readers, I will graciously share some of my newfound knowledge with you...
Did you know?
People actually live on farms in real life
If you stare at a cow for too long it will make an ungodly sound which is a cross between a moo and quack and a grunt (at least this one did)
West Virginia has more bugs per square foot than any other place in the entire world
A local that we had occasion to speak with actually said, "I usually don't like yankees, but Pittsburgh's okay."
If people are too drunk to (re)fire up the grill, one can make perfectly serviceable smores using only an electric range and a chopstick
You should probably refrain from simultaneously eating barbeque chips, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer while soaking in the hot tub
I did not see one goddamn bear the entire trip. They've got pictures of bears all over the place and I feel that this is false advertising. All I saw were a couple of deer, a squirrel and some GIANT ASS moths (picture forthcoming). Next time there better be some freakin' bears!
**********
Alas, that’s all for now. The boy is whining that I’ve been hogging the computer all day and he wants his turn right this minute.
More later…

Goin' down to West Vurginny. Back Monday.

2005-07-29T01:29:00.000-04:00

Hey my lovelies,
I'm going away for the weekend.
When I return I shall regale you with tales of:
Encounters with wild animals!
Living off the land!
Shitting in the woods!

Actually, I'll be staying in a cabin with cable and a hot tub, so those tales will probably be more along the lines of:
Drinking too much beer!
Eating too many hot dogs!
and
Sleeping very late!

Don't miss me too much.

P.S. A Really Random parting gift:
Clowns For Christ

Smootches!!!

Roe Call

2005-07-26T21:39:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else a little nervous about the Roberts nomination? There are several things about him that bother me, not the least of which is where he stands on reproductive choice*. At the end of this post is a link to a petition being circulated by Planned Parenthood asking Roberts to explicitly reveal his position on abortion rights. The goal is to get 100,000 more signatures by September 1st. You all know how this works - I tell 2 people and they tell 2 people, etc. It'll take two minutes to fill out.
Take Action

*Since his nomination Roberts continues to dodge questions regarding this particular subject, however the glowing endorsement from the fucknuts at Operation Rescue is kinda giving him away.

Santorum on The Daily Show - Update

2005-07-26T12:56:00.000-04:00

For those of you who missed it, our good buddy Rick made an appearance on The Daily Show last night (Monday, 7/25). If you didn't get a chance to see it Comedy Central will be re-running the episode tonight at 8 and 11:30pm. Must see TV, indeed.
I was going to give you my take on the interview but, as usual, Mac hit the nail on the head (and she wakes up earlier than me).
An excerpt:
"I may be cynical, but Santorums 'wont someone please think of the children' schtick came off as completely insincere. It looked like Rick Santorum wants to tell people how to live and he wants the government to legislate his viewpoints in order to make it so. As he said, government should legislate ideals. I feel a bit Dennis Leary-esque right now, but if I want to have anal sex with a gay diseased hooker while eating a super high cholesterol/fat/calorie-laden triple cheeseburger with bacon and smoking a joint, chased by a shot of moonshine and an unfiltered menthol cigarette and then go play a round of the latest Grand Theft Auto with the super secret sex patch downloadable from the internet and look at porn, I should very well be able to do that in the privacy of my own home. If I want to worship The Simpsons by wearing latex body paint and chanting 'All hail, oh mighty god Homer Simpson' while prancing around my house, thats no one's business but my own. Its not Rick Santorum's business and it's not the governments business."

So sleepy.......

2005-07-26T02:27:00.000-04:00

Just a wee smidge of Random-ness for you today, kiddos.
I give you: Recouping with Dr. T

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

2005-07-22T18:42:00.000-04:00

Citizens of the Internet:
I have just received word that Rick Santorum will be a guest on The Daily Show next week. More details will be provided as they become available.
As you were.

Last Scientology link for the week. I promise.

2005-07-21T20:48:00.000-04:00

This is just too good not to share with the class.
Be sure to click on all the buttons.
Warning - not work safe (sound).

Those Scientologists are awfully defensive

2005-07-21T14:22:00.000-04:00

I can't imagine why.

July 21, 2005 -- Celebrities like Kirstie Alley and John Travolta say Scientology is open and free, but the sci-fi religion's leadership sure hates being scrutinized in the press. When the church learned that Glamour magazine was working on an expose about a former Scientologist for its September issue, it immediately sent two emissaries to Conde Nast headquarters. An insider at Glamour said, "The story is about a woman who grew up in the church and literally fled to the country to escape her husband, mother and the Scientologists she lived with. During our fact-checking, we called the L.A. headquarters and several hours later two Scientologists showed up at Conde Nast and had security call the editor of the story to tell her she had visitors. In our offices, they demanded to see the story but we declined, noting we don't release stories until they are on stands. They showed up twice more that week with DVD's and books about Scientology and then finally with their comments. During the last visit, the Scientologists saw the latest issue of Glamour with Nicole Kidman on the cover with the tagline tease, 'Nicole opens up about Tom,' and demanded copies."

Page Six via Gawker

Currently: Shitting my pants!

2005-07-20T23:31:00.000-04:00

A few months before I graduated I started thinking about what agencies I would be interested in working for so that I could keep an eye out for openings and start writing cold letters. During this period of contemplation there was one agency that stuck out in my mind and I started referring to a particular position there as My Dream Job.
**********
I graduated and this agency still wasn't hiring. I kept on leaving myself little notes to remind me to write a cold letter so that when they were looking for someone to fill My Dream Job they would already have my info.
But you know me. I procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated.
**********
Then this past weekend I had a conversion with my mother about how I was so poor and how much I hated looking for work and hadn't really been looking all that hard. Blah, blah, blah.
And Mom said, "You'll do it when you're ready," and, "Did you write a letter to that agency that you've been yaking about forever?"
"Ummmmm, no... Alright fine! I'll write the damn thing tonight, but they're not going to be hiring anytime soon!"
So I hung up, wrote the letter, customized my resume and found their address.
I felt really good when I was done, like I'd actually accomplished something. I planned to edit and mail it on Monday. I finally got around to editing on Tuesday. Then today I was going to mail it for sure - but damn I forgot to bring it with me when I went out!
**********
When the boy and I were out at dinner tonight we discussed our job search strategies and decided that I was going to go straight home and not take my eyes off the internet until I found at least 3 jobs that I was willing to apply for tomorrow. So there!
I came home and I looked and looked and looked. And two hours later I was yanking at my pigtails. Three hours later I was contemplating whether a fall from our second story window would be enough to kill me. Finally I said to myself, "Self, you will look at one more website and then you have permission to go and watch crap TV and eat cookies."
"Fair enough." I thought.
So I went to one last website and plugged in my search criteria for the umpteenth time this evening and what should I find but an ad - posted this past Sunday, no less - for MY! FUCKING! DREAM! JOB!
Seriously, folks. You cannot make this shit up.
**********
The coverletter has just been re-tweaked and the envelope has been addressed. I will be going to the post office tomorrow afternoon, right after I'm done babysitting.

So now I ask you, good citizens of the internet:
cross your fingers,
say a prayer,
light a candle,
perform a ritual sacrifice,
send me good vibes,
or whatever it is that your personal belief system dictates.

I really, really, really, really, really want this job.

Here we go...

2005-07-19T22:19:00.000-04:00

Oh
Fuck

What I am doing tonight Vs. What I should be doing tonight

2005-07-19T12:44:00.000-04:00

Those of you who know me know that I am seriously in need of a "real" (read: full-time) job. My part-time jobs were perfect when I was in grad school and was receiving twice yearly checks from Uncle Stafford and Daddykins - now, not so much. It is with that in mind that I bring you...

What I am doing tonight
At 5:30 you can find me at The Church Brew Works where I will be attending a DNC fundraising event featuring chairman Howard Dean. It's $25 just to walk in the door and is being held in a brew pub at dinner time. My guess is that we won't be getting out of there for less than $85. Ouch!
Then at 10:30 I will be parked in front of my telly watching the premiere of Pretty Things on HBO. It's a Liz Goldwyn documentary on the history of burlesque.
Vs.
What I should be doing tonight
Fine tuning my resume, scouring the want ads, not spending money, returning my overdue library books (ironically these are resume and cover letter writing books that I got at the library precisely because those books are free), canceling our outrageously expensive digital cable (there is a special place in hell for you Comcast) and flagellating myself over all the money that I compulsively spend on unnecessary things - I went to a spa last week people! - clearly I am in need of some kind of intervention.

Things to do in Pittsburgh when you're broke: Part 1

2005-07-18T18:14:00.000-04:00

PInk Flamingo
Originally uploaded by MC_Coco.

Last Wednesday the boy and I spent the afternoon hanging with the birdies at the National Aviary. It's only $6 to get in and that includes any special events that are going on. It's not huge - everything can be seen in less than 2 hours - but it's an interesting way to spend the afternoon if you find yourself in the Northside with a little time to kill.

My ears...they're bleeding!!!

2005-07-18T17:12:00.000-04:00

Could someone please tell me who is responsible for choosing the music that is piped into Pittsburgh's local retail chains - specifically W.G. Grinders & Giant Eagle - because I would like to see these people held accountable. Accountable for what you ask? Oh, nothing much... just the aural equivalent of rape.
Over the past several days I have had the distinct privilege of hearing too many songs that human beings should never have occasion to hear:
1. Against their will, and
2. In an unironic context

A sampling of the offending "songs"
Tarzan Boy
Lost In Your Eyes
Take Me Home Tonight
I Wanna Know What Love Is

My deepest apologies to any reader who gets these songs stuck in their head as a result of this post.

It's all become clear...

2005-07-15T20:30:00.000-04:00

This "test" has been making the rounds all over blogland and I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon (I accidentally typed bangwagon - and that is a whole other kinda wagon).
Read on to understand the true me (my notes are in bold).

Your Birthdate: December 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. True. I likes the people, but if I don't get my own space and time I can quickly morph into uber-bitch
There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. Very True
You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. Sorta True - this can be really negative though, because I have definite tendencies towards control-freakery which need to be carefully monitored at all times
You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas.Why yes! How did you know that birthday meaning generator?!
Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. Um, no. I emote all over the place, baby
There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Spot on. I have a big mouth and can easily be overly dramatic if I don't reign it in
Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give. Yes & No

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Now that's intelligent design!

2005-07-13T21:02:00.000-04:00

Now kids, read the whole thing. It's not that long (and no cheating and scrolling to the bottom first).
Without further adieu, I give you The Flying Spaghetti Monster
***********************************************************
Link via the fabulous Mrs. Kennedy

Tom Cruise - Fucktard 1st Class

2005-07-12T23:28:00.000-04:00

I never really had a problem with Tom Cruise in the past. He was always just kinda there, starring in mediocre movies and doing all that typical Hollywood actor bullshit. Recently - as I'm sure you are aware if you've come within 10 feet of any type of tabloid media in the past month - Mr. Cruise hooked-up with Katie Holmes and has been doing non-stop press for his new flick, War of the Worlds. He's also been running his mouth non-stop about Scientology and taking every available opportunity to bash psychiatry.

Says he:

"Here's the problem. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.
But what happens, the antidepressant, all it does is mask the problem. There's ways, [with] vitamins and through exercise and various things...
I'm saying that drugs aren't the answer, these drugs are very dangerous. They're mind-altering, antipsychotic drugs. And there are ways of doing it without that so that we don't end up in a brave new world. The thing that I'm saying about Brooke [Shields] is that there's misinformation, okay. And she doesn't understand the history of psychiatry. She doesn't understand in the same way that you don't understand it, Matt."

What Tommy Boy failed to mention during the previously quoted exchange (from the Today Show with Matt Lauer) is exactly why The Church of Scientology takes issue with psychiatry.

"Hubbard [founder of the Church of Scientology] also decided that psychiatrists were an ancient evil that had been a problem for billions of years. He cast them in the role of assisting Xenu's genocide of 75 million years ago. In a 1982 bulletin entitled "Pain and Sex", Hubbard declares that "pain and sex were the INVENTED TOOLS of degradation", having been devised eons ago by psychiatrists "who have been on the [time] track a long time and are the sole cause of decline in this universe." (Hubbard, HCO Bulletin of 26 August 1982)

So what have we learned today kids?
1. Tom Cruise is an EXPERT on psychiatry (though we have yet to find any evidence of actual credentials).
AND
2. Tom Cruise believes that billions of years ago an evil band of psychiatrists helped an alien named Xenu commit genocide and that psychiatrists invented the concept of pain and "are the sole cause of decline in this universe."

So how long do you think it will be before we see footage of Tom Cruise confused and alone, wandering the streets wearing a tinfoil hat and mumbling about how thetans have taken over his body?

Judging by these clips I don't think we'll be waiting too long.
**************************************************
Spanks to Schna for the vid clips

Summer movies that (hopefully) don't suck

2005-07-12T14:46:00.000-04:00

I usually have a hard time finding new movies that I'm interested in in the summertime as I'm generally not a big fan of either explosions or films based on comic books (both de rigueur for the season). So I'm really psyched that there are two movies coming out this Friday that I actually want to see.
The first (which should come as no surprise to those who know me) is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Before you roll your eyes too hard remember that both Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are attached to this. For them I'm more then willing to give it a chance.
The second film is called Happy Endings. Maggie Gyllenhaal is in it and the reviews that I've read so far have been really good.

Words to live by from everyone's favorite alter boy...

2005-07-11T22:13:00.000-04:00

Rick Santorum!
Yes, it seems our boy Ricky has decided that the world could not live another day without a book (It Takes a Family) bursting with such pearls of wisdom as:

"Many women have told me, and surveys have shown, that they find it easier, more "professionally" gratifying, and certainly more socially affirming, to work outside the home than to give up their careers to take care of their children. Think about that for a moment... Here, we can thank the influence of radical feminism, one of the core philosophies of the village elders." (page 95)

"But unlike abortion today, in most states even the slaveholder did not have the unlimited right to kill his slave." (page 241)

"The notion that college education is a cost-effective way to help poor, low-skill, unmarried mothers with high school diplomas or GEDs move up the economic ladder is just wrong." (page 138)

"Another corporate good citizen cooperating with parents to keep kids from inappropriate content has been Wal-Mart." (page 332)

To recap:
BAD - women working outside the home, feminism, reproductive rights and education
GOOD - WalMart

Well thank god someone cleared that up! If anyone needs me I'll be busy discontinuing my job search, getting pregnant, erasing 20 years of formal education, renouncing feminism and shopping at Walmart.
***********************************************************
Thanks to Casey for the heads up on this story and the good women of Feministing for the quotes.

P.S. Don't miss the reviews of the book on Amazon.com, they're priceless (click on "It Takes a Family," in the first paragraph of the post).

"You can't be popular AND smart!"

2005-07-11T13:29:00.000-04:00

New Teen Girl Squad up at Homestar Runner. Pop over to see the girls get Drivers Ed'ed
P.S. For those of you that are unfamiliar with Teen Girl Squad, you don't know what you're missing.
That is all.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you: Lego Porn!

2005-07-11T12:51:00.000-04:00

I figure that this is as good a place to start as any.
In the words of Borat, "Sexy time!"

What will I be?

2005-07-11T12:37:00.000-04:00

What exactly is this blog about, you ask?
At this point I think that the title probably says it all. My interests are varied and, as of right now, I'm just planning to go with that.
The main reason that I decided to start doing this again is because lately I have been bombarding the inboxes of my friends with various and sundry links. Links that are funny, sad, shocking. Things that I think that they should not go another minute without being aware of. I figure that if I just post it all on a website then people can come and check out what they want, ignore what they don't want and talk to me/each other about anything they think warrants further discussion.
Presently, the plan is to post lots of links. Here goes nothing...

Go Shorty, it's your birthday...

2005-07-11T12:32:00.000-04:00

Go Shorty, it's your birthday...
Originally uploaded by MC_Coco.

Good morning kids! Today's my blog birthday. I hope you brought presents...